1
00:00:02,937 --> 00:00:05,971
BEFORE I GET TO
TONIGHT'S TERROR TALE,

2
00:00:06,039 --> 00:00:10,959
I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE
YOU TO MY PET... PEEVES.

3
00:00:11,028 --> 00:00:14,379
HE HAS A TERROR TAIL OF HIS OWN.

4
00:00:14,448 --> 00:00:16,615
HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!

5
00:00:16,684 --> 00:00:20,535
TONIGHT'S SKIN-PIMPLING STORY

6
00:00:20,604 --> 00:00:24,939
IS ABOUT A COUPLE WITH
THEIR OWN PET PEEVES.

7
00:00:25,008 --> 00:00:29,311
I CALL THIS CHUNK OF
CHILLING CHARNEL CHATTER

8
00:00:29,380 --> 00:00:32,781
<i>COLLECTION COMPLETED.</i>

9
00:01:57,083 --> 00:01:59,350
OOH, IT'S ALMOST TIME.

10
00:01:59,420 --> 00:02:04,155
EVERYBODY STAY IN
THE KITCHEN NOW, OK?

11
00:02:04,224 --> 00:02:07,325
HE'S GOING TO BE SO SURPRISED.

12
00:02:09,229 --> 00:02:11,129
HE'S HERE.

13
00:02:11,197 --> 00:02:12,497
HE'S HERE.

14
00:02:12,566 --> 00:02:14,544
DID YOU... EVERY...
EVERY... EVERYBODY

15
00:02:14,568 --> 00:02:16,334
BE QUIET NOW.

16
00:02:16,403 --> 00:02:18,770
SHH! SHH! SHH! SHH! SHH! SHH!

17
00:02:21,124 --> 00:02:22,957
WELCOME HO...

18
00:02:26,830 --> 00:02:30,949
OH, YOU POOR LITTLE THING.

19
00:02:32,920 --> 00:02:34,019
OH!

20
00:02:34,088 --> 00:02:36,021
WHAT'S YOUR NAME, HUH?

21
00:02:37,925 --> 00:02:39,958
MEW MEW?

22
00:02:40,027 --> 00:02:43,028
I'LL JUST BRING YOU INSIDE.

23
00:02:45,099 --> 00:02:47,699
YES, WE WILL.

24
00:02:56,277 --> 00:02:59,294
YOU SHUT THE DOOR
RIGHT ON MY FACE.

25
00:02:59,363 --> 00:03:01,897
JONAS, YOU'RE HOME!

26
00:03:01,965 --> 00:03:04,699
OH, WE'VE BEEN
SO EXCITED ALL DAY

27
00:03:04,768 --> 00:03:07,218
WAITING FOR YOU TO GET HERE.

28
00:03:07,287 --> 00:03:10,221
HERE, LET ME TAKE THOSE FOR YOU.

29
00:03:10,290 --> 00:03:11,723
YOU JUST RELAX.

30
00:03:11,792 --> 00:03:13,102
NO, I... I GOT IT. IT'S OK.

31
00:03:13,126 --> 00:03:14,058
NO, NO, NO.

32
00:03:14,127 --> 00:03:15,560
YOU... YOU'VE HAD A HARD DAY.

33
00:03:15,629 --> 00:03:16,695
COME ON, LET ME...

34
00:03:16,763 --> 00:03:18,874
I'VE GOT IT! OHH!

35
00:03:19,883 --> 00:03:22,817
HOW DID THAT THING GET IN HERE?

36
00:03:22,886 --> 00:03:24,997
LET ME... LET ME
HELP YOU UP. OHH!

37
00:03:25,021 --> 00:03:26,220
OH, HERE.

38
00:03:26,289 --> 00:03:28,435
I'LL PUT YOUR THINGS
AWAY FOR YOU.

39
00:03:28,459 --> 00:03:31,392
OHH, LOOK AT THIS.

40
00:03:32,629 --> 00:03:34,663
MY, THAT IS BEAUTIFUL.

41
00:03:34,731 --> 00:03:36,180
WHAT IS IT?

42
00:03:36,249 --> 00:03:38,733
THAT'S 47 GODDAMN YEARS,

43
00:03:38,802 --> 00:03:40,235
THAT'S WHAT THAT IS.

44
00:03:40,304 --> 00:03:42,587
47 YEARS.

45
00:03:42,656 --> 00:03:44,439
SUNTYME HAND TOOLS.

46
00:03:44,525 --> 00:03:47,508
6 DAYS A WEEK, 52 WEEKS A YEAR.

47
00:03:47,577 --> 00:03:49,026
LOOK AT THAT THING.

48
00:03:49,095 --> 00:03:50,095
SOME THANKS.

49
00:03:50,164 --> 00:03:52,347
YOU CAN'T EVEN
TELL TIME WITH IT.

50
00:03:52,432 --> 00:03:55,350
WELL, I THINK IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

51
00:03:55,419 --> 00:03:56,951
YOU SHOULD BE PROUD.

52
00:03:57,020 --> 00:03:58,420
PROUD?

53
00:03:58,488 --> 00:04:01,923
SURE. REAL PROUD.

54
00:04:01,991 --> 00:04:05,259
PROUD TO BE PUT OUT TO PASTURE.

55
00:04:05,329 --> 00:04:08,763
THE DAY I HIT 65,
I'M OUT OF THERE.

56
00:04:08,832 --> 00:04:12,400
NEVER MIND I'M 17 YEARS
REGIONAL SALES LEADER.

57
00:04:12,469 --> 00:04:13,568
NEVER MIND!

58
00:04:13,637 --> 00:04:16,270
JUST THROW THE OLD DUFF AWAY.

59
00:04:17,674 --> 00:04:20,107
WELL, I'M SURE THEY'LL MISS YOU,

60
00:04:20,176 --> 00:04:21,459
AND ANYWAY,

61
00:04:21,528 --> 00:04:23,173
YOU'VE DONE ENOUGH FOR THEM.

62
00:04:23,197 --> 00:04:25,130
THIS IS <i>YOUR</i> TIME NOW,

63
00:04:25,199 --> 00:04:28,566
SO LET'S START RIGHT NOW.

64
00:04:28,635 --> 00:04:31,286
YOU COME SIT OVER HERE

65
00:04:31,355 --> 00:04:35,723
BECAUSE WE HAVE
A SURPRISE FOR YOU.

66
00:04:35,792 --> 00:04:37,275
WHO'S WE?

67
00:04:37,343 --> 00:04:38,663
YOU DIDN'T. NOW
YOU KNOW I HATE...

68
00:04:39,696 --> 00:04:42,263
GODDAMN YOUR CATS TO HELL!

69
00:04:42,332 --> 00:04:43,798
WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO,

70
00:04:43,867 --> 00:04:45,767
SEARCH MY OWN
COTTON-PICKIN' CHAIR

71
00:04:45,836 --> 00:04:46,768
EVERY GODDAMN TIME

72
00:04:46,837 --> 00:04:48,636
I WANT TO SIT DOWN
UNDER MY OWN ROOF?

73
00:04:48,705 --> 00:04:50,855
IS THAT WHAT I HAVE TO DO?

74
00:04:50,924 --> 00:04:53,324
I DON'T KNOW HOW IT GOT THERE.

75
00:04:53,393 --> 00:04:56,661
THE CATS KNOW THAT
THAT IS YOUR CHAIR.

76
00:04:56,730 --> 00:04:59,330
THEY WOULD NEVER...

77
00:04:59,399 --> 00:05:00,331
OH, I'LL JUST...

78
00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:02,384
I'LL JUST THROW IT AWAY.

79
00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:04,869
YOU CAN THROW AWAY THAT NEW CAT

80
00:05:04,938 --> 00:05:06,337
WHILE YOU'RE ABOUT IT, TOO.

81
00:05:06,406 --> 00:05:08,356
HE'S MY NEW FRIEND.

82
00:05:08,425 --> 00:05:10,175
YOU CAN GET RID OF HIM NOW,

83
00:05:10,243 --> 00:05:13,011
'CAUSE AS OF TOMORROW,
YOU WON'T BE LONELY ANYMORE.

84
00:05:13,080 --> 00:05:14,846
YOU WON'T BE
NEEDING ANY ANIMALS.

85
00:05:14,914 --> 00:05:17,198
I'M GONNA BE HOME ALL DAY

86
00:05:17,284 --> 00:05:19,834
RIGHT HERE IN THE GODDAMN HOUSE

87
00:05:19,903 --> 00:05:22,753
I'VE WORKED FOR ALL
MY GODDAMN LIFE...

88
00:05:22,823 --> 00:05:25,857
HERE SHARING OUR
GOLDEN YEARS TOGETHER.

89
00:05:25,926 --> 00:05:28,527
YEP, FINALLY I'M GOING
TO GET SOME TIME

90
00:05:28,595 --> 00:05:30,362
FOR YOU, ANITA.

91
00:05:30,431 --> 00:05:33,799
BUT NOW, I... GOT
TO HIT THE SACK.

92
00:05:33,867 --> 00:05:36,685
BUT THE PARTY.

93
00:05:37,938 --> 00:05:39,037
TOO TIRED.

94
00:05:39,105 --> 00:05:40,372
TOO TIRED.

95
00:05:43,777 --> 00:05:45,209
OHH.

96
00:05:49,115 --> 00:05:51,716
I'M SO SORRY,

97
00:05:51,785 --> 00:05:53,696
BUT DADDY'S CALLED
THE PARTY OFF.

98
00:06:09,970 --> 00:06:12,137
OH, MY GOD!

99
00:06:12,206 --> 00:06:13,283
ANITA, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?

100
00:06:13,307 --> 00:06:14,239
YOU TURNED OFF THE ALARM.

101
00:06:14,308 --> 00:06:15,935
I'M GOING TO BE LATE.

102
00:06:15,959 --> 00:06:17,592
LATE FOR WHAT?

103
00:06:17,661 --> 00:06:19,394
I GOT TO GET STARTED,

104
00:06:19,463 --> 00:06:22,446
BUT YOU CAN SLEEP
AS LONG AS YOU LIKE.

105
00:06:22,516 --> 00:06:24,466
OHH!

106
00:06:24,551 --> 00:06:27,419
GOOD MORNING, SUNSHINE. MWAH!

107
00:06:29,423 --> 00:06:32,007
OH.

108
00:06:32,075 --> 00:06:34,575
THAT'S NOT SUCH A BAD IDEA.

109
00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:37,829
I CAN STAY IN BED

110
00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:40,831
AS LONG AS I FEEL LIKE IT.

111
00:06:42,252 --> 00:06:44,753
GET UP WHENEVER I...

112
00:06:44,821 --> 00:06:45,987
WANT.

113
00:06:58,618 --> 00:07:00,618
I CAN'T STAND IT.

114
00:07:05,008 --> 00:07:06,308
OH, UH...

115
00:07:07,510 --> 00:07:08,654
EXCUSE ME.

116
00:07:08,678 --> 00:07:10,561
OH, THAT'S ALL RIGHT,
YOU CAN COME IN.

117
00:07:10,630 --> 00:07:13,164
I, UH...

118
00:07:13,233 --> 00:07:15,183
UH...

119
00:07:25,044 --> 00:07:26,144
MMM?

120
00:07:34,554 --> 00:07:36,321
HA HA HA HA!

121
00:07:37,557 --> 00:07:39,491
WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?

122
00:07:39,559 --> 00:07:41,704
YOU LOOK LIKE A MAD DOG

123
00:07:41,728 --> 00:07:43,808
FOAMING AT THE MOUTH.

124
00:07:48,051 --> 00:07:48,984
OH!

125
00:07:49,052 --> 00:07:50,151
OW.

126
00:08:06,086 --> 00:08:07,101
OUCH!

127
00:08:08,404 --> 00:08:09,837
OH, DA...

128
00:08:10,907 --> 00:08:12,840
OH.

129
00:08:17,264 --> 00:08:18,696
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

130
00:08:18,765 --> 00:08:20,743
I'M GONNA TAKE MY BATH.

131
00:08:20,767 --> 00:08:23,535
NOW? A BATH? IN THE MORNING?

132
00:08:23,603 --> 00:08:25,169
OF COURSE.

133
00:08:25,238 --> 00:08:27,455
IT'S OK. I DON'T
MIND IF YOU'RE HERE.

134
00:08:27,524 --> 00:08:29,624
OH, COULD YOU TAKE IT LATER?

135
00:08:29,692 --> 00:08:32,310
I ALWAYS TAKE MY
BATH AT THIS TIME.

136
00:08:32,379 --> 00:08:33,379
GODDAMN IT ALL,

137
00:08:33,413 --> 00:08:35,813
YOU HAVE TO MAKE
ME SAY IT, DON'T YOU?

138
00:08:35,882 --> 00:08:37,398
ALL RIGHT. I HAVE TO SIT DOWN.

139
00:08:37,467 --> 00:08:39,868
ALL RIGHT? I'M EMBARRASSED NOW.

140
00:08:39,936 --> 00:08:42,203
NOW I'D LIKE A MOMENT
OR TWO OF PRIVACY,

141
00:08:42,272 --> 00:08:43,204
PLEASE.

142
00:08:43,273 --> 00:08:44,739
OH, I'M SORRY.

143
00:08:44,808 --> 00:08:46,708
YOU GO AHEAD.

144
00:08:46,777 --> 00:08:48,810
I'LL LEAVE.

145
00:08:58,621 --> 00:09:00,888
EAT YOUR BREAKFAST.

146
00:09:01,958 --> 00:09:03,390
OH, YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS.

147
00:09:03,459 --> 00:09:05,392
THERE YOU ARE.

148
00:09:07,747 --> 00:09:10,464
AH, THE GOLDEN YEARS.

149
00:09:10,551 --> 00:09:11,917
RETIREMENT.

150
00:09:11,985 --> 00:09:15,954
MY FIRST FREE
WEEKDAY SINCE I WAS 17.

151
00:09:16,023 --> 00:09:18,134
WHY DON'T YOU JUST TAKE THE DAY

152
00:09:18,158 --> 00:09:20,258
AND DO NOTHING? JUST RELAX.

153
00:09:20,327 --> 00:09:22,271
YOU COULD PASS OUT IN YOUR CHAIR

154
00:09:22,295 --> 00:09:23,728
WITH THE TV ON.

155
00:09:23,797 --> 00:09:25,914
DAMN IT. I DON'T
WANT TO WATCH TV.

156
00:09:25,982 --> 00:09:27,581
I'M A PRODUCTIVE CITIZEN.

157
00:09:27,650 --> 00:09:29,717
I GOT MANDATORY RETIREMENT.

158
00:09:29,786 --> 00:09:31,186
MANDATORY.

159
00:09:31,254 --> 00:09:33,299
BUT I THOUGHT YOU
LIKED TO PASS OUT

160
00:09:33,323 --> 00:09:34,505
WITH THE TV ON.

161
00:09:34,575 --> 00:09:35,973
I WAS WORKING THEN.

162
00:09:36,043 --> 00:09:38,576
I HAD A RIGHT TO PASS OUT.

163
00:09:38,644 --> 00:09:42,347
SO DO A LITTLE WORK,
AND THEN PASS OUT.

164
00:09:44,851 --> 00:09:46,952
SKIPPY!

165
00:09:51,692 --> 00:09:54,125
HERE'S YOUR BREAKFAST, HONEY.

166
00:09:58,432 --> 00:10:01,799
WHAT THE GODDAMN
HELL IS GOING ON?

167
00:10:01,868 --> 00:10:04,285
ARE YOU RUNNING SOME
KIND OF LUXURY RESORT

168
00:10:04,354 --> 00:10:05,787
FOR EVERY FLEA-BITTEN PARASITE

169
00:10:05,856 --> 00:10:07,522
THAT TRIPS ACROSS MY DOORSTEP?

170
00:10:07,608 --> 00:10:09,507
WHAT'S THAT DOG EATING,

171
00:10:09,576 --> 00:10:10,942
A STEAK?

172
00:10:11,010 --> 00:10:14,929
THESE ARE MY FRIENDS.

173
00:10:14,998 --> 00:10:16,931
MUST BE COSTING A FORTUNE.

174
00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:19,484
I CAN'T BELIEVE I
WORKED 47 YEARS

175
00:10:19,553 --> 00:10:21,953
JUST TO SHELL OUT FOR
EVERY MANGY CAT AND DOG

176
00:10:22,021 --> 00:10:23,988
THAT'S HUNGRY ENOUGH
TO BE YOUR FRIEND

177
00:10:24,057 --> 00:10:25,423
JUST BECAUSE YOU FEED IT?

178
00:10:25,492 --> 00:10:28,142
THEY KEEP ME COMPANY.

179
00:10:28,211 --> 00:10:30,027
THEY'RE ALL I'VE GOT.

180
00:10:30,097 --> 00:10:32,163
WHAT THE HELL IS THAT
SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

181
00:10:32,232 --> 00:10:33,331
ALL RIGHT, SO...

182
00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:37,001
I'VE BEEN A LITTLE
BUSY THE LAST 47 YEARS.

183
00:10:37,070 --> 00:10:38,503
I JUST DIDN'T HAVE TIME

184
00:10:38,572 --> 00:10:40,972
TO SIT AND YAP WITH
YOU NIGHT AND DAY.

185
00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:43,174
I HAD A LIVING TO EARN!

186
00:10:43,243 --> 00:10:44,175
NOW, NOW, NOW.

187
00:10:44,244 --> 00:10:47,345
NOW, NOW. IT ISN'T
THAT IMPORTANT.

188
00:10:47,414 --> 00:10:49,647
JUST EAT YOUR BREAKFAST.

189
00:10:52,668 --> 00:10:55,469
BEAT IT, YOU FREELOADER!

190
00:10:55,538 --> 00:10:58,339
GET AWAY FROM MY CAR, DAMN YOU!

191
00:11:05,131 --> 00:11:06,531
HUH...

192
00:11:11,338 --> 00:11:12,737
ANYONE DOWN HERE?

193
00:11:12,806 --> 00:11:14,205
JONAS?

194
00:11:14,273 --> 00:11:16,040
JONAS, IT'S ME... ROY.

195
00:11:16,108 --> 00:11:17,709
OH, GREAT.

196
00:11:17,777 --> 00:11:19,210
HEY, ROY, BUDDY.

197
00:11:19,278 --> 00:11:20,756
HOW YOU DOING, NEIGHBOR?

198
00:11:20,780 --> 00:11:22,714
ANITA TELLS ME YOU RETIRED.

199
00:11:22,782 --> 00:11:24,716
I SAW YOUR CAR OUTSIDE,

200
00:11:24,784 --> 00:11:27,218
AND IT HAD ME GOING FOR A WHILE.

201
00:11:27,286 --> 00:11:29,554
I FIGURED EITHER YOU'RE SICK,

202
00:11:29,622 --> 00:11:31,889
WHICH I'VE NEVER SEEN YOU GET,

203
00:11:31,958 --> 00:11:34,225
OR YOUR CAR BROKE
DOWN. ONE OR THE OTHER.

204
00:11:34,293 --> 00:11:36,227
RETIREMENT JUST
NEVER OCCURRED TO ME.

205
00:11:36,295 --> 00:11:37,773
SOUNDS LIKE YOU'VE BEEN DOING

206
00:11:37,797 --> 00:11:39,274
A LOT OF THINKING ABOUT THIS.

207
00:11:39,298 --> 00:11:41,276
BETTER RUN TO THE NEWSPAPERS.

208
00:11:41,300 --> 00:11:43,735
INQUIRING MINDS
WILL WANT TO KNOW.

209
00:11:43,803 --> 00:11:46,804
HEH HEH. SAY, NOW
THAT YOU'VE GOT

210
00:11:46,873 --> 00:11:48,406
PLENTY OF TIME ON YOUR HANDS,

211
00:11:48,475 --> 00:11:51,025
I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT
LIKE TO TRY ONE OF THESE.

212
00:11:51,094 --> 00:11:52,227
TERRIFIC, ROY.

213
00:11:52,295 --> 00:11:54,229
REALLY TERRIFIC.

214
00:11:54,297 --> 00:11:59,567
BUT I'VE GOT REAL
WORK TO DO, ROY...

215
00:11:59,636 --> 00:12:01,736
PRUNING.

216
00:12:01,804 --> 00:12:04,439
IT'S LIKE A JUNGLE OUT THERE.

217
00:12:08,327 --> 00:12:10,929
THERE'S NO SHORTAGE
OF THINGS TO BE DONE

218
00:12:10,997 --> 00:12:12,597
AROUND THIS PLACE.

219
00:12:12,666 --> 00:12:13,765
THAT'S JUST FINE.

220
00:12:13,833 --> 00:12:16,601
I'D GO NUTS WITH NOTHING TO DO.

221
00:12:16,670 --> 00:12:19,270
I'M NOT GOING TO BE
ONE OF THOSE GEEZERS

222
00:12:19,338 --> 00:12:23,107
THAT SITS ON THE
PORCH WAVING AT CARS.

223
00:12:23,176 --> 00:12:26,110
WELL, TO EACH HIS
OWN, I ALWAYS SAY.

224
00:12:27,513 --> 00:12:29,664
WELL, LOOK WHO'S BACK.

225
00:12:31,268 --> 00:12:33,034
HEY, BEAT IT, YOU MANGY MUTT!

226
00:12:35,922 --> 00:12:38,756
GOD! BOLD AS BRASS TACKS.

227
00:12:40,359 --> 00:12:41,459
TELL YOU,

228
00:12:41,528 --> 00:12:44,629
I'M WORRIED ABOUT ANITA, ROY.

229
00:12:44,697 --> 00:12:47,532
SHE'S OBSESSED WITH ANIMALS.

230
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:49,033
NOW, I DON'T LIKE

231
00:12:49,101 --> 00:12:51,536
TO AIR OUR DIRTY LAUNDRY OUT,

232
00:12:51,604 --> 00:12:54,055
BUT I THINK SHE NEEDS HELP.

233
00:12:54,124 --> 00:12:56,624
BY THE WAY, I'D APPRECIATE IT

234
00:12:56,693 --> 00:12:59,827
IF YOU, UH, DIDN'T
SPREAD THAT AROUND.

235
00:12:59,896 --> 00:13:01,813
WELL, SHE'S BEEN THAT
WAY SINCE ANYBODY

236
00:13:01,881 --> 00:13:03,647
IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD
COULD REMEMBER.

237
00:13:03,716 --> 00:13:05,483
IT'S FUNNY YOU WOULDN'T KNOW.

238
00:13:05,552 --> 00:13:06,696
I SEEN HER SITTING ON THE GREEN

239
00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:09,354
WITH A SQUIRREL PERCHED
RIGHT ON TOP OF HER HEAD.

240
00:13:09,422 --> 00:13:11,973
AND IT WAS LIKE SHE
WAS TALKING TO HIM.

241
00:13:12,042 --> 00:13:13,357
SQUIRRELS?

242
00:13:13,426 --> 00:13:15,460
GOD, THAT'S DISGUSTING!

243
00:13:15,512 --> 00:13:17,945
TREE RATS, THAT'S ALL THEY ARE.

244
00:13:18,014 --> 00:13:20,948
AND BIRDS. YOU SHOULD
SEE HER WITH THE BIRDS.

245
00:13:21,017 --> 00:13:23,317
IT'S NOT HEALTHY, ROY.

246
00:13:23,386 --> 00:13:24,863
IT'S DRIVING ME CRAZY.

247
00:13:24,887 --> 00:13:27,321
WELL, YOU SHOULDN'T
LET ALL THESE THINGS

248
00:13:27,390 --> 00:13:29,323
BOTHER YOU SO MUCH.

249
00:13:29,392 --> 00:13:31,992
RETIREMENT TAKES
SOME ADJUSTMENTS.

250
00:13:32,062 --> 00:13:34,495
MAYBE YOU OUGHT TO
TRY THAT MODEL PLANE

251
00:13:34,564 --> 00:13:35,329
I BROUGHT YOU.

252
00:13:35,398 --> 00:13:36,997
IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT,

253
00:13:37,067 --> 00:13:39,333
YOU CAN FIND YOURSELF
ANOTHER HOBBY.

254
00:13:39,402 --> 00:13:41,047
IT'S NOT FOR ME, ROY.

255
00:13:41,071 --> 00:13:43,337
I SAY HOBBIES ARE JUST...

256
00:13:43,406 --> 00:13:45,406
A WASTE OF TIME.

257
00:13:47,577 --> 00:13:50,511
I'D SAY YOU ABOUT GOT HER.

258
00:13:54,417 --> 00:13:56,698
IT'S SO NICE TO HAVE A MAN

259
00:13:56,752 --> 00:13:59,386
AROUND THE HOUSE
TO TAKE CARE OF.

260
00:13:59,455 --> 00:14:01,856
WHAT THE HELL IS THIS CRAP?

261
00:14:01,925 --> 00:14:03,903
IT'S TUNA. IT'S GOOD FOR YOU.

262
00:14:03,927 --> 00:14:05,342
WHERE DID YOU GET THIS FROM?

263
00:14:05,411 --> 00:14:07,456
I GOT IT OUT OF THE CUPBOARD.

264
00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:09,091
LOOKED ALL RIGHT TO ME.

265
00:14:09,115 --> 00:14:10,881
WHERE IS IT? LET ME SEE THE CAN.

266
00:14:15,288 --> 00:14:17,821
ANITA, THIS IS CAT FOOD.

267
00:14:17,890 --> 00:14:19,891
OH, I'M SORRY.

268
00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:21,909
I DIDN'T REALIZE.

269
00:14:21,995 --> 00:14:23,894
THIS IS JUST TOO MUCH.

270
00:14:25,131 --> 00:14:26,230
JONAS!

271
00:14:26,299 --> 00:14:28,444
OH, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?

272
00:14:28,468 --> 00:14:30,050
COME HERE, BOY.

273
00:14:30,119 --> 00:14:31,235
JONAS?

274
00:14:31,304 --> 00:14:33,654
YOU NAMED THIS DOG JONAS?

275
00:14:33,723 --> 00:14:35,656
I'M SORRY.

276
00:14:35,742 --> 00:14:38,175
WELL, HE REMINDED ME OF YOU.

277
00:14:42,281 --> 00:14:43,281
I MEAN...

278
00:14:43,333 --> 00:14:45,783
DON'T RUIN IT WITH AN APOLOGY.

279
00:14:45,852 --> 00:14:47,284
YOU KNOW, I'M FLATTERED.

280
00:14:47,354 --> 00:14:48,786
HONORED, IN FACT.

281
00:14:48,855 --> 00:14:51,722
WHY DON'T YOU
JUST INVITE HIM IN,

282
00:14:51,790 --> 00:14:54,058
HAVE HIM SIT DOWN AT THE TABLE?

283
00:14:54,127 --> 00:14:57,778
I THINK WE HAVE A SANDWICH
YOU ALREADY MADE FOR HIM.

284
00:14:59,566 --> 00:15:01,476
Man on TV: THE SPIRIT
OF ELVIS IS IN THE BODY

285
00:15:01,500 --> 00:15:02,828
OF HER DOBERMAN PINSCHER...

286
00:15:06,155 --> 00:15:07,799
OOH, THAT SOUNDS BAD.

287
00:15:07,823 --> 00:15:08,922
IT'S NOTHING.

288
00:15:08,992 --> 00:15:12,443
I MUST BE COMING
DOWN WITH A LITTLE COLD.

289
00:15:12,512 --> 00:15:13,927
I'M NOT SO SURE.

290
00:15:13,996 --> 00:15:16,113
SOUNDS LIKE A HAIRBALL TO ME.

291
00:15:16,182 --> 00:15:17,765
A HAIRBALL?

292
00:15:17,834 --> 00:15:20,068
OH, GOD, YOU'RE UNBELIEVABLE!

293
00:15:20,136 --> 00:15:21,936
IT'S JUST A COLD.

294
00:15:22,005 --> 00:15:25,623
NOW I THINK I'M
GETTING A HEADACHE.

295
00:15:25,691 --> 00:15:27,336
COME ON, LITTLE FISHY.

296
00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:30,328
YOU THINK YOU COULD
PLEASE GET ME SOME ASPIRIN?

297
00:15:30,397 --> 00:15:31,329
OH, SURE.

298
00:15:31,398 --> 00:15:33,175
I THINK I HAVE SOME
IN THE KITCHEN.

299
00:15:33,199 --> 00:15:35,616
THE DOG ALSO CHASES CADILLACS...

300
00:15:37,053 --> 00:15:38,564
Woman: COUGARS,
ORIGINALLY THOUGHT

301
00:15:38,588 --> 00:15:41,138
TO BE SCAVENGING FOOD
LEFT BY HOMELESS DRIFTERS,

302
00:15:41,207 --> 00:15:44,458
ARE NOW VERIFIED AS FEEDING
ON THE HOMELESS THEMSELVES.

303
00:15:44,527 --> 00:15:46,427
Boy: LASSIE!

304
00:15:51,718 --> 00:15:53,984
I BROUGHT YOU A LITTLE TREAT.

305
00:15:54,053 --> 00:15:55,486
A BROWNIE?

306
00:15:55,555 --> 00:15:57,032
I ASKED FOR ASPIRIN.

307
00:15:57,056 --> 00:15:58,789
GO AHEAD, TRY IT.

308
00:16:07,217 --> 00:16:08,699
WHAT WAS IN THAT?

309
00:16:08,768 --> 00:16:10,601
YOUR ASPIRIN.

310
00:16:10,670 --> 00:16:13,571
I PUT IT IN THE BROWNIE FOR YOU.

311
00:16:13,639 --> 00:16:15,072
GODDAMN IT, ANITA!

312
00:16:15,141 --> 00:16:17,269
I'M NOT LIKE YOUR
DOGS OR YOUR CATS!

313
00:16:17,293 --> 00:16:20,127
YOU DON'T HAVE TO PUT
MY MEDICINE IN FOOD!

314
00:16:20,196 --> 00:16:22,680
I AM NOT AN ANIMAL!

315
00:16:22,748 --> 00:16:24,849
I AM A HUMAN BEING!

316
00:16:32,592 --> 00:16:34,192
ANYBODY HERE?

317
00:16:34,260 --> 00:16:35,759
JONAS?

318
00:16:37,030 --> 00:16:38,529
IT'S ME AGAIN.

319
00:16:38,598 --> 00:16:41,449
I BROUGHT YOU THE
B-1 BOMBER THIS TIME.

320
00:16:41,517 --> 00:16:43,017
HEY, THANKS.

321
00:16:43,086 --> 00:16:46,220
CAN'T WAIT TO GET AT IT.

322
00:16:46,306 --> 00:16:49,073
UH, LISTEN, OLD BUDDY.

323
00:16:49,142 --> 00:16:51,542
I KNOW HOW THIS MUST LOOK,

324
00:16:51,611 --> 00:16:53,528
BUT FOR ME, THESE MODELS...

325
00:16:53,596 --> 00:16:56,764
WELL, IT'S NOT JUST
ABOUT BUILDING PLANES.

326
00:16:56,850 --> 00:16:59,050
YOU WANT TO SLOW UP A BIT.

327
00:16:59,118 --> 00:17:01,219
LET LIFE PASS YOU BY A LITTLE.

328
00:17:01,287 --> 00:17:03,554
WHEN YOU START
LETTING LIFE PASS YOU BY,

329
00:17:03,622 --> 00:17:05,767
THAT'S THE DAY YOU START TO DIE.

330
00:17:05,791 --> 00:17:08,226
NO, I... I DON'T NEED
TO SLOW DOWN.

331
00:17:08,294 --> 00:17:11,229
YOU KNOW WHAT
ANITA DID LAST NIGHT?

332
00:17:11,297 --> 00:17:14,898
SHE GAVE ME MEDICINE
LIKE YOU WOULD A DOG.

333
00:17:14,967 --> 00:17:16,400
I'M NOT HER HUSBAND.

334
00:17:16,469 --> 00:17:18,969
I'M LIKE ONE OF THE PETS.

335
00:17:19,039 --> 00:17:21,188
HAVE YOU TALKED
TO HER ABOUT THIS?

336
00:17:21,257 --> 00:17:23,574
SHE MAY NOT BE
USED TO HAVING YOU

337
00:17:23,643 --> 00:17:25,576
AROUND THE HOUSE ALL DAY.

338
00:17:25,645 --> 00:17:27,561
OH, I DON'T KNOW.

339
00:17:27,630 --> 00:17:29,730
WELL, MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT.

340
00:17:29,799 --> 00:17:32,766
I GUESS I COULD BE
PARTLY TO BLAME.

341
00:17:32,835 --> 00:17:35,753
I THINK YOU TWO
OUGHT TO SIT DOWN

342
00:17:35,821 --> 00:17:38,772
AND HAVE A NICE, LONG TALK.

343
00:17:38,858 --> 00:17:42,560
I'VE BEEN SO WRAPPED
UP IN MY OWN PROBLEMS,

344
00:17:42,628 --> 00:17:45,513
I COULDN'T SEE THAT
YOU HAD PROBLEMS, TOO.

345
00:17:46,649 --> 00:17:48,081
I'M SORRY.

346
00:17:49,152 --> 00:17:51,752
I REALLY AM, BUT...

347
00:17:51,820 --> 00:17:55,589
WELL, THAT'S ALL
IN THE PAST NOW.

348
00:17:55,658 --> 00:17:58,609
WE CAN MAKE A BRAND-NEW START.

349
00:17:58,678 --> 00:18:01,595
WE'LL BE THE WAY WE USED TO BE.

350
00:18:01,664 --> 00:18:03,114
I'LL RUB YOUR STOMACH,

351
00:18:03,182 --> 00:18:07,118
AND YOU CAN LICK
THE BACK OF MY LEG.

352
00:18:21,867 --> 00:18:24,801
I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT BE THIRSTY.

353
00:18:24,870 --> 00:18:26,136
NAH.

354
00:18:27,206 --> 00:18:28,850
WELL, I'LL JUST SET IT DOWN

355
00:18:28,874 --> 00:18:31,308
ON THE TABLE HERE FOR YOU.

356
00:18:33,713 --> 00:18:35,190
IF YOU NEED ANYTHING,

357
00:18:35,214 --> 00:18:38,148
I'LL BE CLEANING
OUT THE FISH TANKS.

358
00:18:48,360 --> 00:18:49,777
YOU MISERABLE...

359
00:18:51,547 --> 00:18:54,281
HERE, KITTY, KITTY.

360
00:18:54,350 --> 00:18:55,983
HERE!

361
00:18:59,939 --> 00:19:02,005
COME HERE, LITTLE MEW MEW.

362
00:19:02,074 --> 00:19:03,507
HERE, MEW MEW.

363
00:19:03,576 --> 00:19:05,326
HERE, MEW...

364
00:19:28,168 --> 00:19:30,134
WAIT! I'M CLEANING THE FI...

365
00:19:50,106 --> 00:19:55,009
AAH!

366
00:19:57,780 --> 00:19:59,146
HONEY,

367
00:19:59,215 --> 00:20:01,198
IT FINALLY OCCURRED TO ME.

368
00:20:01,267 --> 00:20:02,650
THE PERFECT HOBBY,

369
00:20:02,718 --> 00:20:05,236
A HOBBY I KNOW I'LL JUST LOVE.

370
00:20:06,706 --> 00:20:08,072
OH, JONAS!

371
00:20:08,140 --> 00:20:09,523
OH, SKIPPY'S BONE.

372
00:20:09,591 --> 00:20:11,025
SKIPPY DIDN'T MEAN IT.

373
00:20:11,093 --> 00:20:12,559
RUN ALONG, LITTLE FELLA.

374
00:20:14,964 --> 00:20:17,414
I'M GOING OUT FOR A WHILE.

375
00:20:40,339 --> 00:20:41,772
HE'S BEEN SO HAPPY

376
00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:44,324
IN THE LAST COUPLE OF WEEKS.

377
00:20:44,410 --> 00:20:47,311
GOSH, I WONDER WHAT
THAT MAN'S BEEN UP TO

378
00:20:47,380 --> 00:20:50,263
DOWN THERE IN THAT
DINGY OLD BASEMENT.

379
00:20:50,332 --> 00:20:53,200
WELL, WHATEVER IT IS,
WE WERE JUST IN TIME.

380
00:20:53,268 --> 00:20:55,603
ANY MORE OF HIS YARD WORK,

381
00:20:55,671 --> 00:20:59,072
AND THIS PLACE WAS BEGINNING
TO LOOK LIKE A PARKING LOT.

382
00:20:59,141 --> 00:21:01,625
BY THE WAY, YOU HAVEN'T SEEN

383
00:21:01,694 --> 00:21:03,572
THE OTHER JONAS
ANYWHERE, HAVE YOU?

384
00:21:03,596 --> 00:21:05,478
THAT OLD BULLDOG?

385
00:21:05,547 --> 00:21:06,797
NO.

386
00:21:06,865 --> 00:21:08,832
CAN'T SAY AS I HAVE.

387
00:21:12,204 --> 00:21:14,038
JONAS!

388
00:21:14,106 --> 00:21:15,973
HAVE YOU SEEN SKIPPY?

389
00:21:16,042 --> 00:21:16,974
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

390
00:21:17,043 --> 00:21:18,353
GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!

391
00:21:18,377 --> 00:21:20,255
I DIDN'T TELL YOU YOU
COULD COME DOWN HERE.

392
00:21:20,279 --> 00:21:22,929
WELL, I CAN'T FIND
JONAS, EITHER.

393
00:21:22,998 --> 00:21:25,632
HE NEVER STAYS AWAY THIS LONG.

394
00:21:25,701 --> 00:21:27,801
JONAS IS OUT BACK.

395
00:21:27,870 --> 00:21:29,436
I JUST HEARD HIM.

396
00:21:35,728 --> 00:21:37,161
JONAS.

397
00:21:37,229 --> 00:21:39,263
COME HERE, LITTLE BABY.

398
00:21:39,331 --> 00:21:40,614
MOMMY'S LOOK...

399
00:21:40,682 --> 00:21:42,833
JONAS!

400
00:21:42,901 --> 00:21:44,718
IS THAT YOU?

401
00:21:46,556 --> 00:21:51,058
OH! JONAS, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?

402
00:21:51,126 --> 00:21:54,028
MOMMY'S BEEN WORRIED ABOUT YOU.

403
00:21:59,568 --> 00:22:01,001
WHAT DO YOU THINK?

404
00:22:03,239 --> 00:22:05,339
WHAT IS THIS?

405
00:22:05,408 --> 00:22:06,857
WHAT'S HAPPENING?

406
00:22:06,925 --> 00:22:09,342
HE'S THE PRIZE OF MY COLLECTION.

407
00:22:09,412 --> 00:22:11,361
IT'S PART OF MY NEW HOBBY...

408
00:22:11,430 --> 00:22:13,364
TAXIDERMY.

409
00:22:13,432 --> 00:22:16,032
YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS.

410
00:22:20,272 --> 00:22:22,284
HOW COULD YOU DO THIS?

411
00:22:22,308 --> 00:22:24,257
I'M DOING THIS FOR YOU.

412
00:22:24,326 --> 00:22:26,860
I'M MAKING ADJUSTMENTS
SO WE CAN SHARE

413
00:22:26,929 --> 00:22:29,880
OUR COMMON INTERESTS
IN OUR GOLDEN YEARS.

414
00:22:29,948 --> 00:22:31,382
YOU LOVE ANIMALS.

415
00:22:31,450 --> 00:22:34,501
NOW I CAN LEARN
TO LOVE THEM, TOO.

416
00:22:34,570 --> 00:22:37,788
BUT THESE ANIMALS
ARE LIKE MY CHILDREN.

417
00:22:37,857 --> 00:22:41,124
GOOD CHILDREN OUGHT
TO BE SEEN AND NOT HEARD.

418
00:22:43,278 --> 00:22:46,346
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY BABIES?

419
00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:49,916
MEW MEW.

420
00:22:53,789 --> 00:22:58,425
YOU'RE NOT GOING
TO TOUCH MEW MEW!

421
00:23:07,754 --> 00:23:09,419
MEW MEW,

422
00:23:09,488 --> 00:23:10,921
COME TO MOMMY.

423
00:23:12,158 --> 00:23:14,825
MEW MEW, IT'S VERY IMPORTANT.

424
00:23:14,894 --> 00:23:17,661
COME HERE, LITTLE BABY!

425
00:23:17,730 --> 00:23:19,663
OH, PLEASE!

426
00:23:19,732 --> 00:23:21,665
WHERE ARE YOU?

427
00:23:23,402 --> 00:23:25,903
AAH!

428
00:23:54,866 --> 00:23:56,533
WHERE'S MEW MEW?

429
00:23:56,602 --> 00:23:58,618
WELL...

430
00:23:58,687 --> 00:24:00,954
SHE'S AROUND.

431
00:24:01,023 --> 00:24:05,142
BUT FIRST... IT'S SHOWTIME.

432
00:24:06,378 --> 00:24:08,145
HERE THEY ARE...

433
00:24:08,214 --> 00:24:11,048
MY COMPLETE COLLECTION.

434
00:24:12,618 --> 00:24:15,119
WHAT DO YOU THINK?

435
00:24:15,188 --> 00:24:17,487
JONAS, PLEASE.

436
00:24:17,556 --> 00:24:20,757
I'M REALLY PROUD
OF MY HANDIWORK.

437
00:24:20,827 --> 00:24:23,660
NOW, YOU THINK IT'S
THE LARGE ANIMALS

438
00:24:23,729 --> 00:24:25,591
THAT ARE THE MOST CHALLENGING.

439
00:24:25,615 --> 00:24:27,559
ACTUALLY, IT'S THE SMALL ONES

440
00:24:27,583 --> 00:24:30,367
THAT REQUIRE THE
SPECIAL TECHNIQUE.

441
00:24:31,420 --> 00:24:33,804
NOW, I BET YOU CAN'T IMAGINE

442
00:24:33,873 --> 00:24:35,753
HOW MANY BONES THERE ARE

443
00:24:35,808 --> 00:24:37,385
IN A CHIPMUNK'S FOOT.

444
00:24:37,409 --> 00:24:38,776
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

445
00:24:38,845 --> 00:24:40,978
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?

446
00:24:41,047 --> 00:24:43,330
OH, YEAH.

447
00:24:43,399 --> 00:24:46,500
SOMETHING IS
MISSING, ISN'T IT, HUH?

448
00:24:46,569 --> 00:24:49,002
THE FINAL PIECE
IN MY COLLECTION...

449
00:24:49,071 --> 00:24:50,837
SOMETHING LIKE...

450
00:24:50,906 --> 00:24:52,339
THIS!

451
00:24:52,408 --> 00:24:54,675
AAH!

452
00:24:54,744 --> 00:24:56,310
GIVE HER TO ME, JONAS.

453
00:24:56,379 --> 00:24:59,179
I CAN'T GIVE HER
TO YOU LIKE THIS.

454
00:24:59,248 --> 00:25:00,559
I HAVEN'T FINISHED WITH HER YET.

455
00:25:00,583 --> 00:25:02,728
I HAVEN'T REALLY EVEN STARTED.

456
00:25:02,752 --> 00:25:04,017
JONAS, PLEASE!

457
00:25:04,086 --> 00:25:05,519
DON'T!

458
00:25:07,590 --> 00:25:10,023
I BELIEVE IN USING CHLOROFORM.

459
00:25:10,092 --> 00:25:11,687
DOESN'T SHOCK THE SYSTEM,

460
00:25:11,711 --> 00:25:14,011
SO THE MUSCLES DON'T TENSE UP,

461
00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:15,924
AND THEY PULL AWAY
FROM THE BONES

462
00:25:15,948 --> 00:25:18,148
LIKE BUTTER.

463
00:25:18,217 --> 00:25:22,002
YOU'RE NOT GOING
TO KILL THAT CAT!

464
00:25:22,071 --> 00:25:23,436
ANITA, NO!

465
00:25:23,505 --> 00:25:24,545
ANITA, NO!

466
00:25:28,961 --> 00:25:30,060
<i>LASSIE!</i>

467
00:25:30,128 --> 00:25:33,229
IS THIS SHOW ALL
RIGHT WITH YOU, JONAS?

468
00:25:33,298 --> 00:25:34,731
THAT'S NICE.

469
00:25:34,800 --> 00:25:37,734
I MADE TUNA FOR LUNCH...

470
00:25:37,803 --> 00:25:39,235
YOUR FAVORITE.

471
00:25:40,973 --> 00:25:44,575
AS I'VE SAID BEFORE,

472
00:25:44,643 --> 00:25:48,579
IT'S SO NICE TO HAVE A
MAN AROUND THE HOUSE

473
00:25:48,647 --> 00:25:50,414
TO TAKE CARE OF.

474
00:25:53,185 --> 00:25:55,085
HI THERE. I JUST
DROPPED BY TO SEE

475
00:25:55,154 --> 00:25:57,087
HOW YOU TWO WERE DOING.

476
00:25:57,156 --> 00:25:59,439
WELL, COME ON IN, ROY.

477
00:25:59,508 --> 00:26:00,591
HOW'S JONAS?

478
00:26:00,660 --> 00:26:03,077
OH, HE'S REALLY SLOWED DOWN

479
00:26:03,145 --> 00:26:05,596
AND LEARNED HOW TO ENJOY LIFE.

480
00:26:05,664 --> 00:26:07,564
HE'S MUCH HAPPIER.

481
00:26:13,739 --> 00:26:15,839
HE REALLY IS.

482
00:26:26,685 --> 00:26:28,118
I GUESS JONAS LEARNED

483
00:26:28,186 --> 00:26:31,789
THAT A HOBBY CAN BE
VERY SELF-FULFILLING,

484
00:26:31,857 --> 00:26:34,792
AS LONG AS YOU'RE NOT
TOO STUFFY ABOUT IT.

485
00:26:34,860 --> 00:26:37,628
HEH HEH HEH HEH.
SO UNTIL NEXT TIME,

486
00:26:37,696 --> 00:26:40,613
I WANT ALL OF YOU TO SIT,

487
00:26:40,682 --> 00:26:42,115
STAY,

488
00:26:42,184 --> 00:26:43,616
PLAY DEAD.

489
00:26:43,685 --> 00:26:45,452
HA HA HA HA HA.

490
00:26:45,520 --> 00:26:47,671
GOOD BOY.

491
00:26:49,208 --> 00:26:52,142
CAPTIONING MADE
POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.

492
00:26:52,211 --> 00:26:55,211
CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL
CAPTIONING INSTITUTE... www.ncicap.org...